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2/18/2008

Awards Ceremony for Indecent Photos...

Oscars will go on as usual thanks to the settlement reached by the Writer's Guild. Unfortunately, writers like myself (laugh...) don't get compensated at all. Nonetheless, I held my own award ceremony - by the way, this refers to the very indecent pictures of some top Hong Kong stars surfacing on the Internet, and the subsequent fallout where stars have fallen, people were arrested, police were embarrassed, media had a fieldweek, etc etc. If you have no idea what I am talking about, I guess Google can help you:

The "OJ Simpson" Award for getting away with murder: The same computer repairman. Why is nobody blaming this guy!? Didn't he steal? Why is Edison et al under the microscope for having sex? Would you rather deal with the Edisons, 阿娇s, Cecilia Cheungs, Bobos of the world, or a dishonest person who might steal from you any time? (and hey, if Edison is the one who leaked the pictures, we'll just substitute his name here. I have a strong feeling that isn't the case)

The "Not Guilty" award to the not so innocent but truly not guilty: Everybody, Edison included, who appeared in the indecent pictures. What did they do wrong? Nothing at all! Why are we condemning them?
The "Guilty" award to the people claiming innocence but quite guilty: Internet Citizens of Hong Kong, you shouldn't be judging Edison's character when you are passing around his private files around. If any, you are almost as guilty as the person who first stole it. In fact, one of the biggest lessons here is, as my friend said, Internet Citizens have thought of themselves as a media source, yet lack the (western, anyway) media ethics. Each one of them has become a Next Magazine and also self righteous about it!
The "Accomplice" award to the true accomplice of the whole incident: Media. You have targeted 阿娇 for being fake. You have targeted the HK Police for selective prosecution. You have targeted Edison for his lifestyle. You have ripped all the fake masks. Yet you fail to rip the true culprit the technician. Oh, I understand, ripping the technician doesn't sell newspapers, right? Okay then.

The "Supply and Demand" Award for a working commercial world: HK citizens and HK media. Hey, I want to see naked pictures. Oh, here, we'll publish it for you! Morals be damned. Public interest rules.

The "Apple Daily" Award for "报不平" (reporting the unfair - that's their slogan...): Apple Daily, who have self-righteously put the indecent picture incidence on their headlines for a whole week. Meanwhile, the world is happening.

The "Roger Clemens" Award for blaming everybody but himself: The so called Hong Kong Internet Citizen. Oh, so peeking at private photos is doing the right thing? And the Hong Kong Police trying to stop the spread is not? And people having sex in the bedroom is not?

The "Isiah Thomas" Award for this is going to end very badly: Bobo Chan. The only difference is that I feel very bad for Bobo, and not at all for Isiah.

The "Marion Jones" Award for lying and lying and lying, and finally admitting the truth: 阿娇.

The "Dick Chaney" Award for being incompetent but safe from trouble because the other people are even more incompetent: all the other ladies were spared the embarassment because the leads were so popular.

The "Michael Jackson" Award for needing plastic surgery: Congrats, Edison, you have multiple targets on your neck now. And that's if you are lucky. There are a few who would take your private parts away... before they go for the neck. Good luck, brother.

The "彭定康是千古罪人" Award for the true culprit: The computer repairman who stole all the information.

The "Jack Bauer" Award for saying trust me many many times: Edison, you win again. Also related is the "Prison Break" Award for trusting those that shouldn't be trusted: All the ladies involved.

The "Paris Hilton" Award for using sex tapes as a publicity stint: The Hong Kong Police. People in public office should either have very ambiguous things to say. I'm just saying.

The "What did I do to deserve this" Award for what did I do to deserve this: Twins' Ah Sa who will probably have to go solo... which means her lack of singing talent can no longer be hidden through a duet. A close second is Emperor Studios, who stand to lose a lot of money if Twins goes down. A close third is the poor Hong Kong Police, who have done everything to bring justice to those responsible, yet get chastised every bit of the way.

The "George W. Bush" Award for person who needs a lesson in public speaking: 黄福全, one of the higher ups in the Hong Kong Police force. His speech about "if you have 正野 and share with your friends, that is okay!" is priceless and should be course material.

The "Martin Lee" Award for being misquoted by leftists and then skewered by the leftists: Hong Kong Police Commissioner 邓竟成, who read out the law on distributing indecent pictures and was quoted only the part of "owning them might be illegal." Instead of leftists, those who misquote him are our democratic media. Hurray for "democratic" media who care about public interest.

The "Britney Spears" Award for the fallen star: 阿娇. She's (or the studio that desperately needs her dollars?) already plotting a come back...

The "Mariah Carrie" Aware for reviving a career: TBD. Personally, I don't think any of them have much of a chance. The public has judged.

The "Faye Wong" Award for I don't fucking care about what you fucking care: This hasn't emerged yet, but I have a strong feeling that Cheng Pak Chi is going to win this award. If she doesn't win, it will be the aforementioned 黄福全.

The "玉女掌门人" Award for ignorance: To all the people who think Twins are actually 玉女. Seriously, you believed them?

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