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1/25/2004

I haven't been to the movies in a while. Need to get hold of a movie buddy and use him/her often... I saw Big Fish, a decent movie about a son and a father reconnecting after years of ignoring each other. Unfortunately, the reason was because the father was dying of cancer. Remember I wrote that with death, comes strength? I think that theme was resonating throughout the movie. I still believe strongly about that statement. Tears come down my cheeks sometimes when I think of Alan. But that is a mere physical reaction... inside, I know I am happy with my life. I have two lovely parents whom all my friends want to adopt (can you adopt a parent!?) after they meet them. I have two lovely brothers who make people around them special (including myself). I feel I have made the most out of what I am given. What's more to ask for?

Question: if you could change one thing in life since you were 9, what would it be? Vincci, my friend at Harvard, had wished that her father didn't die of cancer when she was 14. My wish was to understand Alan more than I already did. Initially, I naturally thought that I wanted Alan alive and well now. But all his life he has wanted to be free from all his burden... hence all I wanted to do was to understand him more. Maybe I can convince him to choose another path for life, maybe I can't... I don't know. But at least I would have understood him. That's the one and only thing I would change if I could.

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